My thoughts

A few hours of free time

I sit here this Saturday morning listening to the sound of the washing machine as it churns, slouching the clothes ever so forcefully. It does so as if somehow the clothes inside have done it wrong, deserving punishment. This being the only sound I hear other than the gentle hum of my laptop fan which seems to never shut off.

Such an unusual morning for me! You see, I am a widow and of course by default a single mother of one grown son (who is off on his own making a way in this world.) And one tween daughter who perpetually has an obsession with hearing the sound of her own voice to the point where she talks in her sleep; just so she continues her verbal expressions, exclamations, and musings. If she is not talking she is most certainly singing her heart out. Using a microphone connected to a Bluetooth speaker which boasts loudly of whatever music is in fashion at this time. That music currently is everything Glee-related.

Currently, my lot in life is to consistently revolve around my daughter and what interests her.  As of recently, I get to sit and listen for hours about some computer game titled; 5 nights at Freddy’s.  Mind you I have never been into horror of any kind. However, my daughter is infatuated with this game. As she continues to talk about this game and the plot line, I become increasingly irritated that she even likes it or wishes to play it.  As of last night, I have banned this game from her computer and her life. The plot line is about some machine or robot murdering children. You must spend a night at Freddy’s (or 5 nights as the game title suggests) without being killed. It takes place in a darkened room where you have a flashlight and have to look around for a scary popup creature you will then continue to shine a light on to make go away. If you fail to keep the light on this creature, you are then murdered.  I mean really, who would think up such a game? Why do people find this kind of stuff interesting, exciting and even likable?

But this morning is different! After dropping my daughter off at the school for her choir festival I am now sitting in a very quiet house. Don’t get me wrong, I love my daughter too the moon and back x-infinity.  I will gladly put on a smile and listen to anything she wishes to chat about just to spend time with her. Even responding with my own bits of wisdom on the subject. But there is something to be said about having quiet time. About time alone to be with just your thoughts. For it is within these little moments of free time that you gain back a bit of who you are as an individual rather than a mother, a nursemaid, a friend, a confidant, a chauffeur, a disciplinarian, a guide, a fan and a supporter of everything child/motherhood related.

So what am I doing with this free time?  Well, I am here writing my thoughts to publish on this new blog I have chosen to start.   To be honest, I thought very seriously about taking a nap! I even still may.  More than likely though, I will end up continuing to do laundry while finding other cleaning projects around the house that need to be done and are better done without the pitter patter of teenaged feet mucking about. This is the typical actions of a mother with a bit of free time on her hands.


Categories: My thoughts, Non-Fiction

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