Mothers and Their Children
A mother’s love starts the moment they get the news they are pregnant. They give up things their children will never understand or know. Just in order to allow their baby to grow healthy inside of them. They go through tremendous pain during labor. Then lose hours and days of sleep caring for and nurturing their child.
During the growing up years, they teach their children everything they need to know about life and guide them in the right direction. Their hopes and dreams for their children’s success in life burst with possibilities. They worry and fret constantly over dangers or wrong turns their children might put themselves into. They do everything in their power to protect their children from harm and do not wish their children to follow in their own footsteps. Rather they want their children to excel past where they have been able to go.
They hurt when they see their children making mistakes and as the ‘forever teacher’ mentality in them will always exist, they are quick to point out where their children are going wrong. In hopes that it will guide their children back to a place of enjoyable healthy living.
When their children are young, the children count on and depend upon their parents for everything. Making their parents especially their mothers the NUMBER one being in their lives. A bond like no other forms within this little private social grouping of mother and child. The mother swells with joy and the child beams with excitement and wonder in the safety of the confines of their mother’s arms.
The child grows becoming increasingly independent. Forming their own thoughts, views, and opinions based on what they are taught and what they experience while under their mothers’ care. They all too quickly wish to strike out on their own as soon as they are able. Wishing to grow up and ‘cut those strings.’ Feeling confined as time goes on. Even held back in a way, like a prisoner in their own homes. Like a never ending story, a tug-o-war is set on fire inside them. Once their homes were a place of refuge and comfort as all they sought was their mother’s arms, now the doors and windows are barred in their minds and that refuge is now a bottomless pit of imprisonment as they wish to run far far away.
The children all go through this stage of trying to find their own individual place in this world. They stand confused for an undetermined period of time as the conflict inside of them wages war. It is so hard to run, but so hard to stay! To grow up and take on the challenges of adulthood and all of the responsibilities that come with it. Blaming their parents (especially their mothers) for everything going wrong in their lives. The words “If only you ….. believed in me,” “If you cut me some slack,” “If there weren’t so many rules,” playing over and over in their heads. Planting seeds of distrust and anger growing their desire to step out into the great unknown. Yet not realizing that it is NOT their mothers that have changed, but THEM that have changed. Their mother is still the same loving, nurturing and caring soul she has been since their seed was planted in her. However, instead of loving, respecting and admiring they have a mother that cares about them; they now dislike, disrespect, and even hate their mothers. They have this ill-conceived notion that their mothers should automatically ‘get over’ their protecting nature and allow them the freedom to do as they please.
This struggle lasts as long as the child themselves wishes it to last. Sometimes years and sometimes forever! As long as resentment plays a role in this relationship on the child’s part, nothing will change. However, in a healthy mother/child relationship once the child comes to a point of maturity a light bulb literally goes off in their minds. They start realizing it was them all along. Their mothers may not act in ways they wish, but they do act out of love and concern. With these changes in place, the relationship can quickly begin anew. Sparking one of mutual love, respect and caring. ~~~~ Just my thoughts on the subject!