It must be the middle of the day, around 2 pm, Onix thought to herself. Her favorite place to sit was this tiny little window seat up in her room. With the curtains pulled back, she could feel the warmth of the sun on her skin. Depending on how hot it was and which direction it was hitting her from, she could always tell the approximate time of day.
She loved the sun, for it was the only type of light she could even come close to seeing through her eyes ever since the accident. She could remember how bright it used to be when she could truly see it. Like a beautiful glowing orb of yellow and white. Warming everything on earth. The way the rays would burst through a window making each tiny molecule of dust float in the air. Or the way it would reflect off the water when she was at the beach. The way it would break through the canopy of trees in the forest next to their house. She used to love walking the path or laying somewhere under those trees watching the leaves flutter in the wind and how the sun would peek through in spots. It was magical. Now the sun just showed up as a dimly lit candle burning in the darkness, shadowy and not very bright. Just like her future, she thought. It was okay though she told herself, she would accept any sort of light at this point. It was certainly better than complete and total darkness.
“Onix, is everything okay? What are you doing? Do you need any help?” Her mother yelled from the bottom of the stairs.
Startled out of her daydream by her mother’s call, she shuttered just a bit. Bending down to pick up her cane that had fallen on the floor beside her feet, she sighed, “I’m fine mother. I’ll be right down.” She did not know why her mother insisted on her using that blasted cane. She had memorized every blazin inch of this entire house. She had counted every step from wall to wall, between different pieces of furniture, door to door and everything in between. Her mother refused to move anything around so she even knew where every small nick nac sat in each crevice of the house.
She felt the cane was a constant reminder of all the things she could no longer do. It was a dead weight dragging her down deeper into the abyss. Tugging and pulling her until she felt like the very breath was being sucked out of her. It brought back memories of waking up in the hospital room scared and feeling alone. Of her first experiences trying to learn to walk as a blind person. Of her bruised and battered legs and arms from falling and smashing into stuff as she took those first few steps. She hated that cane and what it represented, her disabled useless body.
Standing up cane in tow, she headed for the stairs and her mother’s constant hovering. As she approached the top of the stairs she could sense her mother standing there waiting for her to as she put it, “Help her down.” as if Onix was unable to move about on her own.
“Mother, get away! How many times do I have to tell you, I can do it on my own.” Onix grumbled as she yanked her arm out of her mother’s grasp. “Just leave me alone.”
As tears welled up in her eyes, Julia choked back a cry of sadness. “Sweetheart, I am just trying to help. I don’t want to see you fall again.”
Ignoring her mother’s words, Onix grabbed the railing and headed down the stairs on her own. Her thoughts now on that damn accident since her mother so graciously brought it up again. Why couldn’t her mom stop bringing it up? She just wanted to forget every piece of that day. Not that her lack of sight would let her, but she did not need the constant reminder from her mother’s words any more than she needed that dreadful cane. Every part of her body had healed now, except her eyes and that never would.
To make matters worse, it was Wednesday. Every Wednesday she had to go and dredge it all back up again to that wackjob of a therapist Gabe. He always had garlic breath and smacked his lips when he talked. It drove her nuts. But Dr. Phorphenden insisted her mother take her to therapy saying, “It is a good idea even if she does not know it now. Patients who go through a trauma of this nature always have difficulties adjusting to their new lifestyles.”
Well no more, I am putting an end to this today. I am going to tell that stupid moron of a therapist I quit, I don’t want to see him anymore and I refuse to talk about the accident ever again. I just want to move on from this nightmare.
The drive to Gabe’s office was silent other than her mother’s sobs. She could tell her mother was trying to hide the fact that she was crying. She always cried now and always tried to pretend she wasn’t. One thing that improved after the accident though was Onix’s other senses. No matter how quiet her mother was, Onix could either hear her or feel the slight vibrations in the room. Onix let out a small giggle as she thought of dolphins using echo-location. She kind of felt like now she had some form of that to help her move about.
It was no consolation prize to losing her sight but did give her some form of comfort. Not ready to let good thoughts take over her mind Onix quickly changed her thoughts back to anger. Anger over the accident, of her mother’s constant doting, having to go to see Gabe, not being able to pick out her own clothes for fear of picking mismatched colors, most of all, not being able to see.
To be continued…
Every Sunday I will add a new chapter to this story. So stay tuned for more.