There are times in everyone’s life where we feel alone and desolate. Where a dismal reality hits us dead on. Like we are out in space floating in a most peculiar way. Even those who have made the grade can feel this way. No one is immune, protein pills and helmets won’t help. We can feel like we need someone else to take the reins, wishing there was a ground control to talk us through whatever the problem is. To solve it for us.
Or we can feel solace in our isolation. Though the loneliness does not go away, here in the depths of solitude, we feel a calm peace wash over us. Almost like an acceptance of sorts. Our problems still here, our emotions still controlling our minds, but the stars look very different from this perspective. For it is within these cloistered moments, that we can actually find ourselves or inevitably lose ourselves.
Our human brains are fragile, our thoughts delicate. We bruise easily and the wounds can fester. Scars form providing a protective barrier against further harm. It is when these scars turn into Keloids that we must begin to worry. Although not physically harmful, Keloids continue to grow becoming much larger than the original wound. Once formed, Keloids will never go away on their own. They require laser treatment to remove. If we think of these Keloids in the terms of an emotional nature, they too must receive treatment.
It is very important to note here that we are not Major Tom and there is no Ground Control to talk us through, fix, or solve our problems for us. Sure there are Psychologists, Therapists, and counseling options available, pills to consume, doctor’s to see, and classes to attend. Those options are a great start to helping heal the Emotional Keloids. They won’t, however, resolve the underlying reason Emotional Keloids form.
They are temporary band-aids to cover up the Emotional Keloids. They are meant to help encourage us to look deep within ourselves to find the root of the issue. They are stepping stones to bridge the gap and teach us the necessary tools so that the real work can begin. Once we choose to take it upon ourselves to go about finding a long-term solution, we can put into practice the tools we were taught through the band-aids.
The key to our success or failure thereof lies in Mind Control, our ability to control our own thoughts which in turn naturally control our emotions. Admittedly, this is an arduous task most do not wish to tackle, don’t believe can happen, or have just plain given up on. If a light at the end of the tunnel cannot be seen, we freeze according to our fear levels. We fear what is on the other side, the darkness we have to walk through to get there, and the change within ourselves needed to reach our goal.
If we are the type that gives pride a higher value on the scale than knowledge or learning, this task is going to be especially hard. Admitting our faults and humbling ourselves to the fact that we are human will be a critical factor at play in recovery. It is completely natural to have failures. It is completely normal to stumble and fall. And, it is completely common to feel like a fool sometimes.
There is truly no shame in admitting defeat at certain points in life. So why is it that we feel such deep-rooted embarrassment over our weaknesses. We long for acceptance that is why. We feel that somehow if others knew of our shortcomings, they would not accept us, like us or want us around. So we hide our true selves, put our best foot forward at all times. Boast of our accomplishments and take pride in painting a perfect picture of ourselves.
Meanwhile, on the inside we are falling apart. Our Emotional Keloids are growing bigger and stronger each day and soon will completely cover any actual functionality we have within us. The term ‘fake it till we make it’ does not apply here. In fact, it works to enhance our failures growing our Emotional Keloids and preventing healing. It becomes yet another obstacle in our path to overcome.
We have seen this concept in action through some famous people that have lost their fight with these Emotional Keloids. Robin Williams, Mindy McCready, Kurt Cobain, Tony Scott, L’Wren Scott, Chris Cornell, Chester Bennington, Avicii, and most recently Kate Spade. These are just a few examples, there are many more I could list. The point is, it does not matter who you are. Emotional Keloids can overtake your ability to function if you try to hide them or lie to yourself and others about them.
No one can fix you, but you!
Healing starts with a willingness to be open with yourself. To be brutally honest and take steps to truly ponder where your dark thoughts come from, why you have them, how you obtained them, where you place them on the value scale as compared to the positive thoughts you have. Once you have determined the above-listed items, you can truly start to hammer them out of existence one by one.
Each and every day of your life from this moment forward, you must make a conscious effort to control your own mind and thoughts. If a negative thought pops up in your head, give yourself 15 minutes to really feel it, become one with it, let it consume you. Set a timer to go off. After that 15 minutes, you MUST choose to let it go, get rid of it. Picture burning it in your head because once something is burnt, it is gone for good. Then get up and do something positive and happy for yourself. Watch funny videos or something. Anything to get yourself in the right mindset. Soon, you will succeed at having more positive thoughts than negative ones.
You got this!